My father-An Unsung Hero

My father-An Unsung Hero

This story is about my father “Shyamsundar Pandit Deshpande” who was an ordinary man with extraordinary deeds. I don’t know how many of my friends would co-relate with this story but what I felt while writing my father’s story was something unexplainable. Going down memory lane, recalling old days spent with my father gave a true satisfaction. 

A few days back I spoke to my mother over the phone. The date was on 27th Jan and like every year, we reminisced about my father’s last day in our house. It happened to be the day when he had dinner from my mother’s hands for the last time. On the 28th I got a call from my mother; he was kept on a ventilator. For the next two days, he was critical and on 30th Jan he left us. His age was 76. In those two days, amidst the hustle-bustle of the hospital, I could not even realize that he was leaving us. Over these years, I have started missing him more. In the past four years, not a single day has passed without thinking about him. We miss him on every occasion. Sometimes my father comes into my dreams. Sitting on a chair in the veranda, where morning sunrays would come directly on his face, I find him reading the newspaper. He would read 3 to 4 newspapers in a day. He would be restless if the newspaper boy got late anytime. Though we are not staying in that house anymore, the same old house comes in my dreams often because there so are many memories attached to it.

 

His dream house

After staying in a rented house for some years, my parents built a new house and shifted there in 1981. Since then, it was our little world where, my sister, brother, and I, grew up. It was my father’s dream house with a small garden in the front yard and a beautiful kitchen garden in the backyard. We had guava, papaya, pomegranate, Chiku (sapota), and lemon tree in our backyard. Amongst the flowering plants, Marigold was the most loved one. On Dusshera and Diwali, we never got flowers from the market. We had so many flowers at home that sometimes we would give them to our neighbors as well. My father would love to gift chikus and kairi (raw mango) to our guests. Those chikus were so sweet. I still miss them. Not a single chiku of the market can match that sweetness. Sometimes watermelon creepers would also come up on their own in our garden. My father would always bring a new sapling while coming from the office. Watching him, I would also collect sprigs of various flowering plants like “Tagari”, “Kunda”, “Kanher” and “mogra” from my neighborhood and would plant them wherever I found a place. Years later, when I visited my parent’s place I saw those small sprigs turned into nice flowering plants. I remember me and my 2 besties would play “Bhatukali” under the guava tree. We would collect wooden sticks after roaming for around 2 to 3 hours. We would bring all the ingredients from home and then cook a meal on chulha in our garden. The garden was very dear to my father still he would not mind the smoke coming out from the chulha. Moreover, he would enjoy the half-cooked Batata (potato) sabji and burnt rotis made by us. 

Our house was open to everyone. All our friends would gather every day at our place and we would play the whole day. Those were amazing days full of fun and frolic. Whether it was kojagiri Poornima or watching movies on VCR, my parents were always ready for it. Only on one condition. My mother being a movie buff would always endorse one movie of her choice. So, amongst all the latest movies there used to be one old movie (sometimes black and white) which we had to watch reluctantly. We would rent a VCR and watch 4 to 5 movies back to back at our place. When I would get up early morning around 3 or 4 am, I would find someone sleeping on the sofa, someone lying on the dari, someone would be watching carefully his favorite movie with sleepy eyes. It used to be a hilarious sight. 

 

When I began to write about my father I realized he had so many qualities and I could not write them in a single paragraph. So, I made a list of his qualities. 

 

A scholar

My father belonged to Barshi, a place near Solapur district of Maharashtra. At the age of 17, he stepped out of his house and went to Aurangabad. He stayed with his uncle and pursued a job there. He continued with his studies and did his master's in Law and Library Science and joined Punjabrao Deshmukh Krishi Vidyapeeth, Akola as an Assistant Librarian.  Later, he got promoted to University Librarian in PDKV. He had a profound knowledge of various subjects like agriculture, library science, arts, and politics. Despite being an art graduate his interest in learning science and technology was noteworthy. He was always experimental with things. I remember whenever there was any problem with the TV, fridge or mixer we never took it to any electrical shop. Our engineer was at home. He would open it and I don’t know what he would do with that, but somehow things used to work. He adapted himself very swiftly to the changing trends in technology. When the internet was introduced in his office, he was the first one to learn and implement it. He even taught me how to send an email and browse the internet. His general knowledge and current affairs updates were commendable. You ask him any long-form and he would tell the answer immediately. He was our google. Another commendable thing about him was his punctuality. I remember him getting ready 15min early for his office or any other appointment. He maintained strict discipline in his office too. His staff had immense respect for him and even today everyone remembers him for his caring nature.

 An avid reader

Talking about his reading hobby, I can go on and on. He was a voracious reader since his college days. Radio and books were his best friends. When he got any book, he would not sit quietly unless he finished reading that book. He would usually read books after dinner and then there was no one to stop him. There was no fixed genre. He would read all types of books. The PDKV library which was under him is huge with more than 1.5 lakh books on different subjects at present and I am sure, during his tenure, the number must be equally good. He had knowledge about each and every book in his library and where it was placed. My father has inculcated his love for books in us also. During summer vacation, he would get different types of books from his library for us. We would eagerly wait to read all books and discuss with him. Even today book is the common and most loved topic of discussion for me and my siblings. 

As a daughter of a librarian, whose entire life revolved around books, I feel that it’s my duty to continue his legacy. My motive behind starting this blog is to share my experience after reading any book. With the onset of mobile, reading habit has been forsaken. My wish is to inspire more and more people to take up reading. From my experience, I have found that you get immense joy when you read and write something. Because of this hobby, my father could keep himself engaged and motivated, till the last day of his life fighting several health issues. Writing can be another way of catharsis for us. When you write your thoughts, you create something new. I wish, my father had written some motivational book. It would have been a great help to so many students. 

 

A humble person

Despite holding a very high position at his workplace, my father led a simple life. He would help my mother in chopping vegetables, ironing clothes, dropping her to the office and so many other small things which I never noticed at that time. When I read IKIGAI, there was a term “microflow state” where a person finds relaxation in doing small jobs. It is mentioned in that book that Bill Gates also washes his dishes after dinner. My father too derived pleasure from small jobs. He always supported my mother in her career. Even when we were too young and my mother would travel to different cities he would take care of us. When my mother got transferred to another city for 1 year, he managed everything on his own. His trick of washing utensils was very amusing. Once when I came on a weekend from my hostel, he gave this amazing demo. He would put all the vessels in a sink, add some powder and then splash water in full force with a pipe. In that process, he would splash half of the water on himself. He had discovered his dishwasher back then. 

 

An Idealist

My father was of revolutionary views. He never followed any rituals just because others followed them. But he believed in God. He would not eat anything before performing his puja. He would never hesitate to give his favorite veranda for ten days to my brother and his friends. They would perform Ganesh Puja for complete 10 days in our veranda. We used to have a record player at that time. He didn’t mind giving that record player to my brother during those 10 days. He always wanted people to listen to good music. He was a great admirer of Shivaji Maharaj. I remember, He bought a rare photo of Shivaji Maharaj and got it framed and placed it in our drawing room. When anyone would come to our house that picture would catch their attention. Once, when my brother made a sketch of Dr. Punjabrao Deshmukh, my father framed and placed it in his office. He would always read biographies of great leaders and I feel that was the reason behind his idealist thoughts.

 

A true music lover

Sometimes it is difficult to tell what was my father’s first love? Was it reading or music? Music always dominated in our house. It worked as a remedy for all his tensions. He was very meticulous about his cassettes and records. He would keep them properly arranged, segregated in separate boxes with proper labels. If by mistake, I placed any cassette in the wrong box, he would not tolerate it. That was his only treasure. After his retirement, he would spend all the afternoons and evenings listening to Hindustani classical music and ghazals of legends like Mehdi Hasan, Ghulam Ali, Farida Khanum, Beghum Akhtar, Jagjit Singh, Nusrat Fateh Ali khan. We had one Urdu to Hindi dictionary. We would sit with him and enjoy some light ghazals. He would explain each line of any shayari beautifully. My interest in ghazals developed at a very early stage because of my father. Whenever I listen to “Mujhe tum nazar se gira to rahe ho” of Mehdi Hasan I miss my father terribly, because it was our favorite ghazal. It was a bit funny, that he enjoyed the classical version and I enjoyed the film version of the same ghazal. Both of us would listen to our songs by turn. 

 

A teacher

My father loved teaching. He taught library science to many students. After coming back from his office, he would rush towards Commerce College for his classes. He had inspired so many students who had lost their track and were into bad habits. I remember while he checked the answer sheets of library science he would call me and show the funny answers written by the students. Some had “Sorry Sir, will study next time”, some would write” please turn over. .Please turn over and on the last page they would write “please turn back”. Some had the daring to come to our place for increasing their marks but their efforts were futile.

When I had typhoid during my 3rd year engineering exams, I was unable to read due to weakness. I was disappointed that I would not able to study for exams. At that time, he would read all the notes for me, making sure that I was well prepared to give my exams. He would also help many youngsters in our society with their studies. With his guidance, my mother also appeared for BA exams. He always strived to give us best education. I wonder how he managed all the financial things so well. All three of us studied engineering and he was ever ready to do anything for us. He would encourage us to study further. My sister fulfilled his dream and attained a doctorate in her field. He was overwhelmed to see her achievement. Apart from this, he made notes on nursing and nutrition science also. My mother worked as a tutor in a nursing college. He would translate the content from English to Marathi so that students would understand everything perfectly. His notes were in great demand and eventually, it got him in trouble. Because all the tutors would ask my mother to write notes of their subjects also. But my father would enjoy that too. He had a zeal to learn and teach new things. 

My father was an inspiration to many people. One of his subordinates and friend “Mr. Rokade” was very dear to him. My father motivated Rokade Kaka (uncle) to pursue a library science degree. He was so inspired by my father’s guidance that he not only completed his Post Graduation but even acquired a doctorate degree later. They were like “Guru-shishya”. When Rokade kaka published his own book, my father wrote the “Expert View” in his book. It was a proud moment for him. I have added that picture here.

A giver all his life

 My father’s life has been a great example of selfless service. He was least fond of materialistic things. So many times we would coax him to buy a new two-wheeler but he was happy with his Luna. He had a special attachment to it. Even after getting promoted to the highest post of University Librarian, he refused to buy a new vehicle. He was very devoted to his Luna. This reminds me of an incident, he shared with us. He had to cross the railway track every day to reach his office. Once, while returning from his office, his Luna broke down and he started repairing it there itself. He was so engrossed in his Luna that he forgot where he was standing. Suddenly he heard the railway signal and he got alarmed. With full capacity he lifted his Luna and somehow, he managed to get on the other side. My father was not a mighty man. He had a very good height but was lean. I still wonder how he must have gathered the courage to lift that Luna. Years later, he gave his favorite Luna to one guy who would come for his physiotherapy and didn’t charge a single penny. He always believed in giving. He helped so many people financially in their difficult days and never bothered about the money. Donation of old cycles, beds, coolers, and the fridge was nothing strange to us. Owing to my parents’ love for animals, many times our veranda was converted into a hospital. I don’t remember how many cats had delivered their kittens in our air cooler. These simple acts of kindness have always helped my parents to overcome big challenges in their life. I am so glad to know that his old dream house is being used again for teaching purposes. The owners of that house are conducting scholarship exam coaching classes. So many kids are being trained in that blessed house and they are passing out with flying colors. 

In his later stage, my father faced many health issues but he would always face them courageously and come out of it. He was paralyzed, unable to walk. Still, he would keep himself busy and motivated. My parents had different professions, but they had a very good relationship, right from the beginning. They used to fight but the very next moment I would find them chatting or watching TV together. My mother took ultimate care of my father when he was bedridden for almost 5 years. During those days also they shared a loving relationship. He would wish her “Happy Valentine’s Day” even when he could not speak clearly. He would always keep a slate and chalk near his bed to convey his feelings. Over the period, my father didn’t need that too. Mother would guess his needs and feelings instantly. She would call it telepathy. Both of them shared a unique bond. 

My father-in-law said a very beautiful line about him. He said my father was like Baji Prabhu Deshpande who was a great warrior in Shivaji Maharaj’s military and fought bravely for Swaraj until the last breath of his life. My father too continued to teach and guide his students even after losing his ability to walk and speak. When he could not walk he would explain things to his students on phone. One day he lost his voice while teaching his student for 2 hours continuously on phone. He didn’t stop there. He continued with his reading and writing work. Throughout his life, my father was into selfless service and after his demise, he did the biggest charity of body donation. It was his wish that after his death, his body should be donated to medical college for education and research. He dedicated his full life to the welfare of students. 

I read somewhere a very sensible quote about donation by Peter Marshall, which is “The measure of life is not its duration but its donation”. There is one very heart-touching movie “Traffic” based on this subject. Everyone should watch this movie. Whenever I watch it, I get very emotional. It reminds me of my father’s great deed. Throughout his life, my father had been imparting knowledge and his selfless service continued even when he left this world. 

My sister has proudly displayed my father’s certificate in her house. When I look at it, I feel so proud of my father. He was no less than a Martyr. Today, I am sharing that certificate with all.

 

Unique relationship of Rokade kaka and my father (Baba). 

written on : 2/3/22

My father was an inspiration to many people. His subordinate Rokade kaka shared a unique bond with my father. He had devoted himself to baba (my father). He had decided that he would keep aside a certain portion of his salary to buy books and gift them to my father as his Gurudakshina. When he got shifted to Varora he would often visit Akola to meet my father. On the way, he would visit Nagpur's renowned book shop and buy best books for my father. He never thought about the price of the books. whenever he would carry those to Akola and show them to Baba, Baba would tell him, "I have read all these books'. He had to do lot of research before buying any book for baba. Usually he would buy 8 to 10 books for baba and these were quite hefty and during his next visit he would find that baba had already finished reading those books in just 15 days. Baba used to read with an unimaginable speed. Sometimes he would sleep with his spectacles on. Now Rokade kaka has near about 3000 books in his library.

Roakade kaka has so many memories of baba. Sometimes, I feel he had spent more time with baba than us. He told me one such incident when baba called him and informed him that he was planning a trip to Varora along with my uncle "Pathak kaka". Rokade kaka was s excited about baba's visit but the very next moment he realized that he had just shifted to his new house. The house was very small, with weeds all around. kaka was staying alone earlier so he had not set the house properly. The family had just shifted to Varora. There was no TV, bed and sofa in his house. Rokade kaka was worried about how would he manage baba's stay. He knew very well, Baba regularly watched TV. He immediately went shopping and bought TV, sofa and wooden bed. His family members were surprised why suddenly he was buying all the stuff. He told them because "Deshpande Saheb" was coming and he wanted to make him comfortable in every possible way. Also, he warned cable TV guy not to forget any channel. When Baba went there he had a wonderful stay with his loving student . kaka took him to Baba Amte's ashram and they all clicked pictures there. 

Once when Baba's previous boss, Deshmukh Sir asked baba and Rokade kaka to visit Mumbai on a very short notice to get some books for donation purpose they had very little time for reservation. Baba was never interested in these types of jobs. He would pass such work to kaka and kaka was always ready to do them. He booked a travel bus but as strength of passengers was less they had to cancel the reservation. Both of them were sitting in the bus and on the last moment they had to go back. They went to Ahmednagar by ordinary bus. Rokade kaka was concerned about Baba that Baba should get proper sleep. For that he asked him to sleep on the two seats and kaka sat in between the seats so that baba could keep his legs on kaka's neck. kaka sat there whole night so that baba should not get up. He didn't even go for washroom when the bus stopped. When baba got up early morning he got to know that kaka was awake whole night. Baba scolded him but from inside he was overwhelmed by his love.

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